Drinking and Crying

One of the lessons I learned about alcohol, I learned at a young age.  On Friday evenings, my parents would occasionally entertain.  In order to maximum their time with guests, I was taught how to make drinks.  Nothing fancy, I assure you.  I will say, I made a great whiskey sour, which was my Dad’s favorite drink.  

In our living room, we had a baby grand piano made by Lester.  It was beautiful, had great tone and deserved better than my brother and I.  I’m afraid our abilites at piano were suspect.  The only reason I can remember the make of the piano is that I spent years sitting there.  I hated practicing.  It was torture practicing scales.  However, we both took lessons at Eastman School of Music in the preparatory department, if that counts for anything.  

My parents had close friends, Bill and June.  June had been a nightclub singer and Bill had been a pianist in a club.  They were both on their second marriage.  I believe Bill had some deep sadness from the loss of his first marriage.  They were both incredibly great people.  I admired them and they were wonderful to me.  

They were frequent guests on Friday nights.  There were always laughs and jokes and great conversation.  I was privy to most of this because I made a great whiskey sour.  Bill would often sit down at the piano and play beautiful music.  It was like he was in a club.  He would drink and play and it was vastly entertaining.  Sometimes June would sing with him.  

As the night rolled on, Bill would get drunker.  This did not inhibit his music; however it did affect his mood.  As time went on, he would start crying.  It happened every week.  He would play and drink and get sadder and sadder.  Every week he would cry.  No matter how much he cried, there were just as many tears the following week.  I realized that crying when your drinking doesn’t count.  Bill’s crying while drinking didn’t decrease his sadness.  

Many of my clients that drink tell me that they cry.  When I inquire, I find that they only cry when they are drinking.  Letting out the hurt is vital to remaining in recovery.  Yet, I am convinced that crying when you are drinking doesn’t count.