The Power of the Baby

I had only one brother.  He was six-plus years older than I was.  He seemed to have everything.  I looked up to him as a child.  He was successful at everything he did.  He always got “A’s” in school.  He starred in the plays at school.  He was the captain of the tennis team.  He got into Princeton, but just missed getting into Harvard.  He became a respected psychologist.  He married had a daughter and was loved by his family.

I believe in sibling rivalry.  My brother and I competed over my mother.  He was furious that I came along.  At first he did try and bond with my mother in taking care of me.  I was told that he would get up in the middle of the night when I cried, to make sure I was okay.  He cared about me.  I’m sure he had great intentions.  

The story goes that when I was born, my mother told my brother that it was time for him to step aside.  He had had almost seven wonderful years being the only child.  But now it was the Billy’s turn.  He was seven years older and dumped.  He retreated into his room.   

He was ambivalent about me.  He tried to love me, but then his competitive side would come out.  He would help me and he would then turn around and trip me.  

But this is about my competitiveness.  

It was the middle of the night.  We were all in bed.  My brother’s room was down the hall.  He had started adolescence and frequently had growing pains.  He would get what they called “charlie horses” in his calves.  The best thing for this was to have his legs massaged.  My mother would do this for him.  

I heard the noise.  My brother was having pains in his legs and mom was going to his room to massage them.  I remember being jealous that she was with him.   I felt an asthma attack coming on.  First the wheezing and the coughing.  Then the chest tightens even more and you have to fight for breath.  The more agitated you are the tougher it would be to breath.  

It only took a few minutes.  Shortly, I was lying with my head on my mother’s breast and she was stroking my hair and I was in heaven.  This is the power of the baby.