Marriage & Family Therapists and Self Esteem

MFT Self Esteem

Marriage and Family Therapists often struggle with self-esteem. Most of us who have been in this field for some time have spent part of their career fighting for equal rights among the mental health disciplines. Again this year, our peers have had to battle in the Connecticut legislature not to lose the rights we have previously gained. I appreciate and commend our colleagues who continue to fight these battles.
The reality is that marriage and family therapists are incredibly well trained. We spend longer in internships and are more effective as therapists than other mental health practitioners. We have a longer academic life before we enter the job market. Even more important, because of our systemic approach, we understand our clients, their families and our institutions better than our peers from other disciplines. Yet, we still see employers hiring clinicians from other disciplines because they do not know what we are capable of offering. Frequently I find that my students wonder if they made a mistake by going into family therapy instead of counseling or social work. Sometimes it seems that they believe they are second class citizens when compared to other disciplines.
One of the ways I believe we can overcome this attitude with the next generation of family therapists is in their training. I believe we need to instill in our students a confidence and belief in themselves that we have earned as a field. I have begun sharing a thought about this with my students.
The other morning I was waiting to be interviewed for a radio show and I was scared. I had no idea what I would be asked, whether I would have answers that were reasonably intelligent, or whether I would make a fool of myself. While I was sitting with my friend at breakfast, he was surprised that I was afraid. He finally reminded me that no one knew my topic better than I did. The moment he said it, he took me back to a time before my orals for my Doctorate. My advisor, recognizing my fear at the time, had made a similar suggestion. No one knows your topic better than you do.
Now when my students have to present in an interdisciplinary treatment team meeting, or approach the psychiatrist about a client issue, or even ask for supervision from me about the family they are seeing, I remind them that no one knows the family better than they do. In the treatment team, they can offer a unique systemic perspective on the client and their treatment needs. Indeed, they are in the best place to offer a recommendation as to whether the client will be safe living at home.
I believe we need to keep reminding our students of the many advantages of family therapy. Family therapy is an incredible intervention that can have huge repercussions for generations. Psychotherapy has had over a hundred years of evolution. In the process of evolution, family therapy has proven to be the most effective and powerful tool. Perhaps by instilling this into our students, we will be reminded of how we ended up becoming family therapists.