Understanding Carl Whitaker

           I first met Carl Whitaker when I was an intern at Elmcrest in 1975.  I had no idea who he was, other than he was billed as the “Grandfather of Family Therapy.”  He lectured in the morning,  did a demonstration with a real family, then finished off the day talking with the audience.  As a 24 year-old student of psychotherapy I was flabbergasted.  He was the most grounded and grown up man I had ever met.  He talked about being a person with the clients.  His demonstration was amazing.  I felt totally in sync with what he was saying.  When he was done, I was surprised to find how many people didn’t understand him, agree with him, or like him.  They didn’t get Carl Whitaker.      
              Many people don’t get Carl Whitaker.  He spoke in primary process.  He talked about the family in ways that would take you there.  This meant that he spent a lot of time in the right side of your brain.  Sometimes I accused him of doing hypnosis and putting us in a trance.  But he denied knowing anything about hypnosis.  His style of talking wakes up the unconscious.  
              One time he asked me if I knew why I could do “his stuff?”  I didn’t have a clue.  I just knew that I understood him.  He said, “It’s because we don’t need them.”  He went on to talk about how we both grew up on farms.  We were isolated on the farm and we learned to be with ourselves.  I don’t know if he was accurate regarding me.  But this was a man that was at peace with himself.       
            I had monthly supervision with him for ten years.  I attended all of his conferences that were close by.  And I know that I captured him as a foster grandfather when he did a therapy session with my brother and I after my mom was murdered.  I was honored when I got a call asking me to be a moderator for Carl at his next workshop.  The job was to sit with Carl on the stage and interpret what he said for people that didn’t understand him.  I agreed with some reservations.  The idea scared me, but I agreed because any time I got to spend with Carl was special for me.    
                The night before the workshop I had a nightmare.  I dreamt that when Carl lectured, I didn’t understand anything he said and I was totally embarassed.  The feeling of fear stayed with me into the day.  I told Carl about the dream when I arrived.  We both chuckled at first.  Then he was more direct.  “No one is going to remember what happens here today.  You are going to be up there with me.  Just enjoy it.”   It was a great thing for him to say to me at that moment.  I went on the stage with the sole expectation that I would enjoy the day.  One more time I would get to work with Carl.  
               Then my worst fear came true.  I didn’t have a clue what Carl started lecturing about.  It was something he thought of at 4 A.M., that didn’t make any sense at 9 A.M.  I laughed at myself and recognized that my mind was just living out my dream.  But then when he took the break at 10, numerous senior clinicians were coming up to me asking me what the hell he was talking about.  No one else understood him either.  
               Creativity results in you having both good and bad ideas.  That morning, Carl’s creativity took over.  His thoughts that morning may have been absolutely brilliant, but I'll never know.